“Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.”
Shakti Gawain
I saw the film “Crazy Heart” yesterday. Jeff Bridges plays an alcoholic country singer who connects with Jean, the lovely mother of a 4-year-old son. At the climax of the story, Jeff Bridges’ character loses the little boy in a mall while he is at a bar having a drink. In the aftermath once the boy is recovered, Jean screams something like, “I knew in every bone of my body not to get involved with you, but I did.”
This got me thinking. How is it that we know in our bones the best course of action for ourselves, yet we take another path? And how often does it come back to bite us? We even have a phrase for it – against our better judgment. If our judgment is so good, why are we going against it?
The “Yes!”
Let’s begin our exploration of this important topic by looking at what it is like to know something in your bones. For me, I just know it. There is a definitiveness, an undeniable truth, a “yes!” This knowing does not arise from the logical and rational mind. It is not caused by emotions. It is clarity, pure and simple, that seems to just appear in my consciousness.
I was recently speaking to someone who was deliberating about a decision. I asked her if she ever had the experience of “yes,” of knowing something was absolutely true for her. She brightened, and told me about her clarity in deciding to marry her husband and in choosing a fulfilling career.
Isn’t this something we all know – this deep inner certainty?
Listening and Turning Away
Spiritual teacher Adyashanti says that truth is always speaking to us. The voice might be quiet, but it is ever present, guiding us to navigate the river of our lives with perfect intelligence. Are we listening, or is the inner cacophony too deafening to hear?
We can make our way to that still, small voice of truth by recognizing what makes us turn away from it.
- It is not the voice in our heads telling us what we should or shouldn’t do.
- It is not a story justifying our actions.
- It may not look logical.
- It is not what we are propelled to do out of fear.
- Or out of neediness.
- It cannot be discerned when we are clouded by strong emotions.
When our internal experience is crowded with stories, opinions, doubt, justifications, fear and other emotions, we aren’t quiet enough to allow the truth to be heard. And this is where we get into trouble.
Consider Jean from “Crazy Heart.” She knew in her bones not to continue the relationship but was misled by desire, inadequacy, and romantic ideals. I know I have made similar choices in my life. How about you?
If we make life decisions by listening to the noise – and not the silence – these decisions come from fear and unconsciousness. And we eventually suffer the consequences.
As we all know, the pull of the “noise” can be very strong. So strong that we don’t even consider stopping, pausing, inquiring into what is best or right. We blindly choose, or we opt for what seems logical or appropriate. We take the path that fits our ideas of how things are supposed to be. We are swayed by intense emotions.
We ignore the gentle tap on the shoulder that could show us the way.
Discover the Still, Small Voice
How do we know when truth is talking?
- It moves us toward love – for ourselves and others.
- It ultimately brings enjoyment.
- There is no sinking feeling that something is wrong.
- The body unclenches.
- There is a sense of clarity, excitement, or relief, an undeniable knowing.
It’s fascinating to become familiar with your inner wisdom, and here are some ways to experiment.
- Go to the grocery store without a list. Bring your attention inside, and listen to where you are directed to go.
- Rather than doing an automatic behavior, such as turning on the TV after dinner, sit quietly and see what you feel moved to do.
- Let go of your morning routine. Stay in bed, and wait for the inner signal to do the next thing, and the next. (At first, you may want to wait for the weekend for this one.)
The true path for our lives cannot be figured out or created. Our job is simply to listen, and in the listening, we will be given all the guidance we need to do exactly the right thing. When we listen, life unfolds mysteriously. We get out of our own way and allow the still, small voice to be heard.
How have you turned away from your inner wisdom? What have you learned? What is your experience with the experiments described above to get to know the quiet inner voice? I’d love to hear….
38 Comments
I am familiar with the phrase “still, small voice within” from Quakerism, and wondered if you are Quaker.
Hi,
Thanks so much for visiting A Flourishing Life!
No, I’m not a Quaker; I don’t ascribe to any specific religion. I researched the phrase before I published this post, and found that “still small voice” is in the Bible. As far as I know, it is not associated with any particular religion. It is a lovely phrase, though, that speaks to an aspect of our being that we can all resonate with.
Gail,
Thanks for the post. I really enjoyed reading it.
I have found that my inner guidance is pretty much always right. I can’t remember a time when it has been wrong.
However, as you mentioned, the guidance is not always logical. But everything usually does make sense once enough time has passed and you look back on what happened.
I have found that trusting my guidance allows me to plan much less. Since what happens next week, next month, or next year is often unexpected and out of our control, I find it much easier and more productive to mainly focus on doing what my inner guidance leads me to today.
While I always have a general idea of where I’m going, I am very open to change and just let things unfold as they may.
Esther Hicks via Abraham talks about only doing things that feel good. Basically, when I trust my inner guidance and do what feels good, I am led in the right direction.
Meditating every day really helps quiet my mind, so the inner guidance comes through clearly. As you mentioned, the voice inside can easily get ignored by listening to all of the “noise” in our lives.
Hi Greg,
This is a beautiful description of inner guidance and surrendering to it. Thanks so much! The listening and following the inner voice take place in the moment. Planning can be useful, but we actually know what is going to happen when it actually happens. It’s living in this tremendous openness, which is so freeing.
I think I know what you mean about doing what feels good, but just to be clear: Following inner guidance is not about hedonism and doing whatever one feels like. In fact, it is a surrender of personal wants and desires to the universal flow of life, the intelligence that is greater than anything our minds could come up with. I have been in situations where “I” really wanted to go in a given direction, but the inclinations coming through were telling me differently. Picture an alcoholic who really wants to get sober standing at the doorway of a bar. If he follows his desire, he will enter and have a drink. If he surrenders the personal and listens, he might move on.
The more we are willing to know how our habits work, the more the noise dies down, leaving the possibility of hearing our true intelligence.
I’ts the sinking feeling in my stomach that tells me when I’m on the wrong path. I try not to confuse it with other feelings – nerves, excitement, apprehension. They can feel similar, but when I stop and examine those feelings I know what’s causing them. The sinking feeling needs no explanation, it’s just because it’s wrong! Thanks for this lovely post.
Hi Topi,
I’m so glad you mentioned that sinking feeling. It’s in the body, part nausea, part dread – the body saying, “No!” You are so wise to investigate the feelings so you can be clear about what is going on. With this level of conscious awareness, you have the freedom to choose. And noticing the sinking feeling offers some important information.
I imagine I’m not alone, but I’ve had situations happen where I have the sinking feeling, I know better, my “better judgment” is speaking, and I still go against all of these. Kind of like Jean from “Crazy Heart.” These situations have become great learning experiences. And we keep getting the lessons until we learn them.
Gail,
Yes, this is what I was talking about when I mentioned feeling good.
Perhaps the right way to put it would be “going with the flow” (which is similar to what you said in your response) or “not trying to make things happen.”
I notice that when I try to make things happen, it doesn’t feel very good.
Your last sentence really clarifies it, Greg…thanks! There is something off about trying to make things happen. It starts with an idea about how we think things should look, or how we want them to look, then we try to make reality conform to that picture.
A friend of mine talks about feeling your way into things. You take a step, see how it feels, then go from there. It’s beautiful to be so conscious and alive! In the flow….allowing life to unfold and answers to emerge.
Gail, thank you for another insightful post. The still, small voice for me often prompts at first as a physical sensation. And of course, I am picking up information through the senses in my energy field that are way ahead of my mental constructs. Just a little sensation, perhaps only a nudge of concern, or an almost imperceptible tingling that something is not quite right, and if I ignore this, or try to mentally justify myself into something I already understood at this deep level as not being appropriate for me – well, the consequences are another lesson to be learned, teaching me to pay more attention, to be more aware, next time. I am grateful for the generosity of this universe that gives me so many next times to know better! Much love to you from the mountains in Japan – Catrien Ross.
Warm greetings to you, Catrien.
I love that you mention the body as the first inclination that something is not quite right, that you may be moving away from the truth of the moment. And yes, every time we turn away is an opportunity to know ourselves even deeper. We all don’t always take that opportunity, but if we see clearly, we will notice that we are given exactly what we need. The universe, life, is generous, and when we receive the gifts without resistance, the lessons are no longer needed, and we are at ease with life.
Your beautiful words enlighten my evening. Thank you…
Hello Gail,
All I can say is vow. There is a voice within which tells us which path to go for. Most of the times we are wrong and some times we are correct. The times we are wrong we become more experienced towards a great chapter in life which has its own way to teach us.
The most important part is to listen – one who can listen can understand – one who can understand – get the task done correctly with less or no errors at all.
Bye for now,
Cheryl Paris Blog
Hi Cheryl,
A warm welcome to you! Thanks so much for your visit and your comment.
Listening is the key, isn’t it? When we listen to the inner “voice,” we seem to know which way is aligned and which way is off. And for people who are self-reflective and wanting to suffer less, we listen more over time and eventually start to get it right.
I love that you see those “wrong” turns as opportunities. When we turn away from what is true for us, sometimes over and over, we are being offered a lesson. Take for example, someone who chooses the same type of partner several times, always blaming him or her for problems in the relationship – when, in actuality, each time is an opportunity to learn about how one makes the choice. I have seen in my own life that once I get the lesson, the I don’t need the teaching opportunities anymore, and life flows with more ease.
I’m so glad to hear your perspective, Cheryl.
Interesting post. I am attracted to your way of writing, when I get started to read, I read to the end of the post.
Once I explored the intuition and similar topics, for my personal needs. There are numerous theories of how it works. Someone said that there is inserted “life energy” that circulates through all, and warns us of the negative impacts.
Someone else said that it was a subconscious mind that remembers everything we have ever seen, and to decide for us.
It does not matter what I think, because beliefs change over time, but one is for sure – there is something that warns our body about negative impact.
I experienced it, as well as many other people.
Our choice is to be skeptics or not. To believe our inner choice, or logic…
Anyway we choose, the game of life will become interesting, and we will learn a lot…
Hi Marko,
So glad that you are enjoying the blog!
Thanks for adding into the conversation your research about intuition. It’s interesting to try to understand how a phenomenon works. Then, ultimately, as you suggested, we let go of the why’s and see what is true in our own experience. If someone is a skeptic, I would recommend experimenting. Listen to the inner voice, follow it, see how it feels and what happens. Then figure out a logical choice, and do the same. Over time, it will become clear what works.
I encourage everyone to not take for granted what I write about, not adopt it as true, but to find out in your own experience what is real. That is the true laboratory and the only place it matters.
I love being a student of life, and it sounds like you are a kindred spirit. It begins and ends in the heart.
Hi Gail.
That still, small voice within me is a genius, but gets ignored due to emotion, or due to some impulsive thoughts. If I listened to it all the time, I’d be running the world.
Those points about how we know the voice of truth is talking are right on point. That sinking feeling is not enjoyable in any way, and it always signals later disappointment. It also lacks that clenched feeling of temporary self-preservation.
I’d say that more than 95% of people ignore that voice many times daily. It has all the answers, but the process is not usually instantly gratifying.
I haven’t seen this concept brought up like this before, and it will likely come up in my mind at times.
Hi Armen,
You have the gift of clarity – of communicating in such practical terms. I sometimes think about what the world would be life if all of us were even 2% more conscious. It’s amazing the world functions as well as it does with all the mistaken understanding and lack of awareness.
That clenched feeling, often in the gut, is about temporary self-preservation. We are afraid of the unknown, of stepping out of the comfort zone, so we armor ourselves against the threat of losing control.
Another great point you make is that listening to our inner guidance is not usually gratifying. We may be moved to do something that seems illogical or not understandable. To follow the inner voice, we must be willing to act on it anyway, to trust that it is taking us to the next step on our journey that is just the right one for us. It’s a courageous journey.
If most people ignore the inner voice most of the time, which I totally agree with, that speaks to the opportunity of shifting/transforming. When just a few people choose to make a change, there is a universal shift in energy and intention. Any small change really makes a difference. We hesitate to listen to the voice out of fear – of knowing what it will say and of giving up our treasured stories and belief systems. When we meet the fear, we can step into our real life that is quietly waiting for us all the time.
Thanks for this — it reminds me of something I’ve been reflecting on recently — that logic can help us get where we want, but it can’t tell us what we want — for that we have to get attuned to the body, which tends to get downplayed in our culture as irrational and primitive.
Hi Chris,
You make an important point in your comment. Logic and practical uses of the mind definitely have their place – they help us to function in the world. But, and you say it very well, logic can’t tell us what we want. The body is the secret messenger. If we let go of our minds and bring our attention into the body, there are always clues about the next step, even if what is heard is not to take the next step. The insight is to let go of glorifying the mental processes and allow deeper experiences to inform our lives.
Great to have you visiting the site!
“Rather than doing an automatic behavior, such as turning on the TV after dinner, sit quietly and see what you feel moved to do.” I love this suggestion. Its so freeing to listen to the voice of my inner guidance instead of operating on auto pilot.
It is freeing, Nea, because when we listen, we step off the wheel of repeating our conditioned habits And the lovely thing is that you never know what you will discover! If we let the inner guidance take over, if we surrender to it, we are stepping into the unknown. We are getting out of the way of our own lives and allowing them to flow.
Thanks so much for your insight, Nea…Wishing you well….
Gail: This post really resonated with me and I particularly appreciated you pointing out that our job is to just listen. I know that sometimes I may begin to analyze exactly what I should do, but the reality is that as you pointed out, the answer is always there. Our only job is to listen. Thanks for the very insightful and helpful article.
Hi Sybil!
Thanks so much for your comment. It is a radical idea just to listen and not try to figure everything out, but ultimately it is relaxing. We don’t need to do anything or put out effort – all we need to do is listen.
This way of being has changed my life dramatically. When I catch myself trying to look at all the aspects of a situation, seeing what’s important, thinking about what I “should” do, I stop. I know all the mental activity isn’t going to be helpful, so I just listen. Then the appropriate action flows. Life is so much easier!
Great to have you visiting!
you know Gail, lots of the emotional problems people face in this world is strongly connected to lack of communication between them and their inner voices that’s why i have to congratulate you on this post
Welcome, Farouk! So glad to have you visiting the site!
I appreciate your comment. When we get pulled into old mental and emotional patterns, we are unable to clearly hear the truth whispering underneath. Becoming aware of these patterns is essential to being able to hear the inner voice.
Gail,
Another wonderful post. I love your writing, I love your practicality. The bit-by-bit, incremental process is what worked for me, so I really relate to your suggestions.
In fact, the way I learned to listen to my inner guidance included the idea you mention about changing one’s morning routine. For a few years, my favorite vacation was to take a week (or two is absolute luxury), when I lived alone, and just do WHATEVER I wanted to, every day. As you mention, it was about asking myself what felt right as the next thing to do. Sometimes, it was “nothing.” And for awhile, that felt REALLY uncomfortable. I was brought up to be a human doing, not a human being. I felt best when productive. So slowing down, doing things like eating, sleeping, exercising, and that’s IT, that was completely revolutionary. It was like boot camp for self-care. It was hard at first! Now, I love it. I was just away for the weekend at a hotel by the ocean, and it was a chance to take each moment as it came, decide to walk outside and sit in the sun (felt like the first sun of the year here in New England!!), and just stay quiet there for as long as I felt like it.
I encourage others to give themselves the latitude to do this kind of work slowly, notice where you’re comfortable, where you’re uncomfortable. But keep going!
What you say, Gail about the difference between hedonism and listening to that inner voice – it’s a very subtle thing to describe. We do have an inner intelligence, and it isn’t the ego, which chooses pleasure for the sake of pleasure. I wonder how many of us are interested in meeting and getting to know that inner intelligence, because it seems so much harder to get in touch with that way of “feeling good” compared to the quick fix the ego seeks.
Thanks so much for your blog, it really enriches my thinking.
Linda
Linda,
Your experience is a testament to what’s possible. I love how you describe that just listening is not always easy, especially at first, but it is absolutely revolutionary.
This process of listening is a process. There is sometimes so much going on, it may be hard to discern the true voice. Then the path is simply meeting everything that is arising, exploring it, letting it simmer and percolate. Eventually, the true direction will become clear. As with all self-reflection, bringing compassion to the exploration is essential.
I also appreciate your blog, Linda. You are so humble in the ways you express yourself.
Hi Gail, Lovely article. I especially enjoy your pragmatic advice at the end. You offer some wonderful tips to carry it into the day and ‘act as though it is so.’
Children naturally trust their intuitive sense, their inner guidance system until they are taught that the world is a dangerous place and they cannot rely on themselves to navigate their journey through life. We all still have that voice that whispers deep inside. It is the genuine pleasure of thinking for yourself.
I have found that when I am able to detect and shun false advice offered by the frantic world; and turn deep within and ask my inner guidance system to help make the right choices I am never led astray.
Welcome, Rob! Thanks so much for visiting and for your comment.
A love your point about children. They haven’t yet been sidetracked by all the conditioning and are still in touch with the truth. A model for us all to learn from….
I also appreciate that you ask your inner guidance for help. This kind of intentional connection is welcoming. It speaks to your willingness to listen, so the messages can come through clearly.
Loved this post. Especially enjoyed the tips toward the end – the ways to experiment. It’s so important to listen and do what we’re moved to do. Thank you for the generous reminder.
Hi Cybil,
Welcome! So glad to have you visit the site!
I love experimenting. Some of the things I talk about on this blog can bring up fear and resistance. If sweeping changes in our lives are going to come, they will happen of their own accord. All we need to do is practice in the moments. And starting smal, like in the grocery store, is an ideal way to do that.
Thanks so much for your comment…
Gail: I really liked this post. It is so true that sometimes the noise can be distracting and overpower our inner voice. I think we have to continually work at learning exactly how we need to listen and we get better and better at hearing our voice over time. I have noticed that the voice has gotten louder and louder and my hope is that eventually it will overtake all the noise. Thank you for the insights.
.-= Sibyl – alternaview´s last blog ..How to Figure Out What You Were Meant to Do =-.
So great to hear from you, Sybil!
I imagine that your life must be in the process of being transformed if you are getting better at hearing the inner voice. The more we listen to it, the easier it gets for sure.
Wishing you well along your journey….
Luckily I learned at a very young age to pay attention to that “still small voice.” I had experience after experience that proved I could rely on it.
Even with all my experience in seeing the results one time I thought that it was fear I was feeling. I had been in two car accidents and had some fear of being on the road. One day I “felt” I shouldn’t pull out of the driveway. It was felt in my gut – but that, at least for me, is where fear also resides. After analyzing that thought for a while I thought I was just being fearful and I went ahead and pulled out and onto the road. A short time later I was rear-ended by a guy who had been stopped at a near-by light.
It was a great lesson to me. I then found that I hung onto the pain for some time as a constant reminder to me to pay attention. The day I realized that I let it go and the pain began to go .
Thankfully, releasing the fear also resulted in no more accidents.
.-= Leisa | Wealth, Wisdom and Success´s last blog ..My Extrasensory Perception; Part 2 of My Life Story =-.
Fabulous example, Leisa!
Listening is one very important aspect of trusting the inner guidance, and another is discernment or discrimination. We sometimes need to be very clear and precise to see if a feeling or urge is true or conditioned. Conditioned feelings like fear, that also have a bodily component, can be tricky. The inner guidance doesn’t run on fear, it goes by something deeper. So if there is confusion or uncertainty, it helps to look underneath the feeling (e.g., fear), to see if a clear message can be seen. If I could give any advice, it would be to not rush the process, allow yourself to not know if you are not clear, and wait until the truth distills out.
When the letting go happens, as you describe with the pain, the energy around the issue is freed up. So no need for any more teachings in the form of car accidents!!
A bit late in commenting on this article but here,s my thoughts on The Small Quiet Voice within.
There seems to be two voices in your head , one is loud, demanding, urging , it judges ,condemns always wants more, your ego.
The other unlike ego is non of these , it is more of a gentle nudge , it suggests or sometimes makes a statement , it is very easy to over rule. You can ignore the quiet voice easily but that small quiet voice is your true friend , and will always lead you on the right path.
There is no such thing as late here, Dave. I’m so glad you stopped by and left a comment.
You have described these different voices very well. The voice of truth is quiet – a gentle judge. That’s what makes listening so important. It’s a matter of turning the volume down on the noise and paying attention to what is really important, as you say, your true friend.
I have a feeling you are an astute listener, which makes for a blessed life.
Thanks Gail . Yes i have become a very good listener , because i realised that the small quiet voice that we refer to is in fact our true self , our natural wonderful pure being. It has been with us since birth but has been covered with what the ego sees as its main reason for existence- to protect ,the first time someone was unkind to us when we were small children we began creating a shield and in the inevitable ups and downs of life have been adding to that protective shield to a point that all we hear is commands from ego barking out orders — thats not fair- he should not do that- i hate them – i want this. We have mistaken this as me . I believe that we need to reconnect with our innate divine intelligence ” the small quiet voice within” otherwise we are deprived of the knowledge and solutions that it can unfold.
Hi Dave,
You have mastered the art of listening to the still small voice within! With this understanding, you can see the other voices that might pop up to confuse us, and realize they are not truth. These other voices aren’t a problem. They just arise from conditioning, as you describe. Our only job is to listen – and receive. And I love how you say that if we don’t, we are deprived of the knowledge and solutions that are possible.
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