“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.”
~Hafiz of Persia
Are you moving too fast to enjoy life? Are you caught up in problems and struggles? Are you pressing forward on automatic, burning the candle at both ends?
This post is all about slowing down – and I’m writing it for myself as much as for anyone reading this. Because it’s time to stop, be still, hop off the treadmill, and return to sanity.
It’s so easy to slip away from being aware. Even with the best of intentions, before we know it, we find ourselves moving mindlessly through life. We go through the motions, taking care of obligations, inhabiting habit patterns, and meanwhile longing for a time when the to-do list is empty. Our minds are caught in mental whirlwinds while we are missing out on what is already here.
We feel separate, deadened, and half-alive.
Joyful living takes commitment. It asks us to be awake and aware in the moments of our lives. It invites us to stem the momentum of our habits so we can reclaim peace, appreciation, wonder, awe, presence.
Do you want to master the art of joyful living? Integrate these 10 steps in your life, and the seeds of joy will flourish endlessly.
1. Bring silence and stillness into your life
If we turn down the volume on all the noise in our lives, we discover the amazing fact that silence and stillness are already here. And when we intentionally allow ourselves to be still, we naturally open to a deep appreciation of the present moment. We become relaxed, grounded and clear, and stress begins to melt away.
How can you bring silence into your life? When can you stop and be still?
2. Clean up
Someone recently told me she feels disgusted when she looks into her closet because of all the clutter. It”s a shame because every moment of disgust is a moment empty of joy.
If there is anything you are procrastinating about, anything you can easily fix, anyone who drags you down, pay attention. Don’t wait or settle for good enough. Carve out the time, figure out a solution, and clean it up. You are making the space for joy, peace, and happiness to illuminate your life.
3. Mind your own business
Do you want to be unhappy and frustrated? Then try controlling things you can’t actually do anything about. Like other people or most situations or the past or future.
If you are caught in an emotional reaction, turn the mirror onto yourself. Let the story go, and see what is actually true in your direct experience. Bring compassion right into the places where it is needed most.
Diligently work on the areas where you get stuck, and joy will naturally shine through you.
4. Give to others whatever you feel you are lacking
So many of us want attention, love, and understanding. We live in a state of lack, thinking that life can begin if only we get what we think we need.
Consider that you may not actually need what you think you need. It might just be an old story that has outworn its welcome.
Instead of living in lack, contemplate generosity. Give out to others what you want or need. Pull out the stops in offering attention, interest, and caring. Your sense of lack will be transformed into fullness. Believing you don’t have enough becomes love overflowing.
5. Use your senses
Life is so abundant right before our very eyes. Slow down and take the time to see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. Eating an apple becomes a sensual delight, doing the dishes a symphony.
6. Recognize what is working
It is so easy to focus on problems and unhappy feelings. They grab our attention and won’t let go like a dog feasting on a juicy bone.
Take stock of what is working in your life. Is your living situation a good one? Do you know people who you love and appreciate? Do you enjoy your daily runs or a good home-cooked meal? Simply look around you, and you may be surprised by the bounty that is already present.
7. Live in forgiveness
If a grudge is interfering with your joy of life, then it requires your loving attention. Don’t let the minutes tick by while you live in self-righteousness or regret. Neutralize the stories from the past, and make the choice to live joyfully now.
Then live in amends. If you feel wronged by someone or you hurt another, deal with it. Don’t let it fester. Make a lifestyle of living free from hurts and grudges. You will feel strong, clear, and empowered.
8. Learn from life experiences
Sometimes the road of life is a bumpy one. If you want to master joyful living, be open to learning from the challenges that life brings you. Be honest about what buttons get pushed and recognize when you have dropped into a hole that you can’t seem to find your way out of.
Difficult life experiences are designed to show us the areas in our lives where we are not yet free. Use these situations well for your own liberation. You might have noticed that the teachings come until we understand the lesson. If there is a self-defeating pattern playing out in your life, slow it down so you can become conscious of what you are doing. Then make different, better choices with your eyes wide open.
9. Be pleasant
No matter what is going on in your life, show up in an open, good-natured way. No one likes a Negative Nancy. Stop complaining, and instead be patient, open, kind, and agreeable in your day-to-day life.
10. Move in the direction of joy
Every moment offers a choice. Take a look at your life, and it will show you what you value. Are you choosing stress, conflict, and unhappiness?
Joy provides the perfect barometer for navigating through life. All you need to do is recognize what brings you joy, then follow it. Simple, right? Make room in your life for what is positive, light, and life-affirming. You will have mastered the art of joyful living.
Do you live joyfully? Where do you get stuck? What other suggestions do you have? I’d love to hear…
25 Comments
I agree with all of them but found #4 to stand out, especially. Reminds me of Ghandi’s lesson to be the change we wish to see. Sometimes, I find myself struggling with feelings of loneliness, detachment and isolation. I have thoughts such as “no one has time for me” or “I guess I’m not worth their time or energy” and it can lead to feeling down. I have to catch myself and actively challenge that thought. I realize if I want connection then I have to actively pursue it myself. It’s unreasonable to sit back and wait for others to do something that’s important to me.
Thanks for the reminder to step back, slow down, and take accountability for creating our own joy!
p.s. I also like #5, I posted that as a self care strategy on my site!
Sofia Reddy´s last [type] ..The dishes are never done!
Hi Sofia,
I love the realization you are having about not waiting for people to knock on your door. Challenging those thoughts is an essential step. In addition, when you turn around your desire and offer yourself to others, you just might find that the thoughts don’t even have a basis in reality.
And regarding #5, if we use our senses, we can’t help but be in the moment.
Love to you…
I love your expresion ‘Negative Nancy’, please God, may I never be one of those.
Once again it was so good to hear from you, I actually applied points 1 to 3 just before reading this post. I took a day off from my job as a landscaper, converted a room in my house to a art studio, sat down and completed the first of many more paintings. This is something I’ve avoided for years and years because I felt Ididn’t have the time, etc. But I do have the time and so does every one else, and I can’t describe what a buzz it is when you figure this out.
Thanks for the back up.
Mr Tree Man´s last [type] ..The Purpose of Life Part 1
Hi Mr. Tree Man,
I definitely have your back, Mr. Tree Man. It sounds like somehow, it just came to you to get going with your art after avoiding it for so long. It’s so simple, isn’t it? All it takes is attention, intelligence, and commitment.
And, yes, that buzz. The fruits of our willingness to live true.
Yet another article of yours I’m going to print and put in my file! Your blog is a treasure trove of wisdom! This post is so timely for me. I’ve just retired and so far I’m busier than when I was working. I took time for some stillness and silence by going up to my cabin for the weekend (no phone or internet). Whew! Moving on to #2, that is my goal for the summer–some serious decluttering and deep cleaning. One room at a time. Let’s see if I stay on track with that. All good points. Thank you!
Galen Pearl´s last [type] ..Mirror- Mirror on the Wall
Thank you so much, Galen. My you flourish in your retirement…
How many of us know (or are) people who seem to always be busy, but never really accomplishing anything, just more like a hamster on a wheel. All of these points are so useful. This is just another wonderful post. I think a lot of this practical living has to do with determining what your priorties seem to be (the way you are actually living) compared to what you want them to be and finding the path, tools, determination to move from no to yes. I chuckled at #2. I just put out seven boxes for Goodwill this morning. I keep an empty box in one of my closets at all times, so there are no excuses.
Great strategy, Clare, keeping an empty box around for things that will only clutter your closet – and your life.
I love that you speak to the practicality of sane living. It is about priorities, and we show our actual priorities all the time in the choices we make about what we think, feel, and do. And with some attention, and intention, life can be simple, lovely, peaceful, enjoyable. Maybe not all the time, but the desire for peace, and the willingness to do whatever it takes, aligns us with joy.
Wishing you so much joy…
Joyful living is a practice for me. I can get stuck in un-joyful living when I put the focus on something outside myself, such as worrying or obsessing over another person or situation.
Joyful living is about being in tune with myself, being the person I want to be, and somehow when I can accomplish a joyful life, the worries and stress I might have had about other things fall away.
Writing gratitude lists is one of my favorite methods for joyful living. It reminds me to focus on what is working for me, and gives me perspective during difficult times.
Most problems are temporary, especially the ones that feel urgent, and a gratitude list balances the temporary problems and encourages me to seek productive, positive solutions. It also reminds me to let go of stress, even if for just a moment.
Thank you, Gail, for this beautiful reminder to be joyful today.
Chrysta Bairre´s last [type] ..Stop Negative Thoughts- Encourage Postive Thinking
Welcome to you, Chrysta, and thank you so much for your beautiful reminders.
“Joyful living is about being in tune with myself.” Yes! When we are conscious and aware of what is happening – all those nuances of body sensations and feelings – we can navigate life so much more skillfully – as opposed to going on automatic and playing out our patterns.
I also can get into a negative mindset at times. Just shifting into gratitude can make all the difference, and it sounds like that is your experience as well.
Wishing you endless joy…
Greetings Gail,
What a perfect post for the summer solstice when it’s surely time to slow down. I really appreciate #3 (made me smile) and #4 on this list in particular. It’s a very helpful reminder to give to others whatever we feel we need and a great practice too.
Wishing you well with your own slowing down venture!
Sandra Pawula´s last [type] ..What Is Genuine Spirituality
Gail,
This post does a lot of work in a relatively few number of words! It reminds me of the value of meditation, being mindful, and living in the moment.
I think there is another key: in addition to learning from life’s experiences, it is also important to collect emotional moments and treasure them. Without them, we find little joy as we look back on our experiences.
Chris
Chris Akins´s last [type] ..Taming the monkey mind
Hi Chris,
Great addition! I’m a fan of finding joy wherever it might be. It feels wonderful to look back on happy moments. The funny thing is that the memory might be the stimulation, but the joy is experienced in the moment.
This is a beautiful post Gail. Thanks. It can be hard to slow down (and live) when on the whole the culture we are part of is racing forward at breakneck speed to where it doesn’t quite know.
But it’s so vital — for our own sanity, but also so that we are here as a calm center people can turn to if they want, or be comforted by if they want to be comforted. Well done.
Christopher Foster´s last [type] ..Two roads to happiness — which will you choose
I love what you say about being a calm center, Chris. As the layers of conditioning fall away, we become a transparent reflection to everyone around us.
That is one of the happy by-products of this most essential investigation and life choice that I know you experience deeply. When we commit to joyful living, things begin to fall into place in beautiful and mysterious ways.
Hi Gail,
You have certainly hit the nail on the head with this post and I need to heed your sound advice. I am naturally a “high energy” type of person and am highly self-motivated. All that can be very good but it can be very bad. I drive myself hard. I accept no excuses and double my efforts whenI feel I am lacking. That being said, I’m that guy who burns the candle at both ends and looks for a way to burn it in the middle too! LOL
Recognizing that about myself, I know that accessing Stillness is something I must do and do it frequently.
Other things you mentioned are also extremely important:
Not worrying over things that you cannot control
Living in forgiveness
Be Pleasant
Recognize what’s working
Thannks Gail!
Hi Keith,
Every quality seems to have two sides. It is great that you are so motivated, but then you realize that you are burning the candle up!
So balance becomes very important, and some of the things you mentioned from the post can help with that.
Some people are much more chill and could use a shot of your self-motivated energy. It’s about seeing things as they are and not living in our patterns, whatever they may be.
Great reminder to slow down and take in the moment. In every situation in life, we can choose our response. We make choices that can lead to joy or lead to frustration and pain. I think if we follow #10 we will be on a good path. Thanks.
Cathy|Treatment Talk´s last [type] ..Writing Down Our Intentions Can Change Our Life
Thanks so much for your comment, Cathy. Isn’t it amazing that we always have the choice about how to respond?
Yes, it all boils down to #10 – following joy in every moment.
Hi Gail,
These are all important steps, but I like the first one,”Bring silence and stillness into your life”. People are so busy these days that they just don’t take the time to enjoy the moment, because they are thinking about what they have to do next.
We need that silence and stillness everyday for a while to unwind.
I do take my silience and stillness in the evenings. 1 or 2 hours works wonders for me.
Blessing to you Gail for a great post
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
That’s just what happens when we allow our lives to be too noisy – our minds are in the future thinking about what needs to be done next, and we miss out on what is here right now. This future thinking is almost always fear-based.
Taking time to unwind and be still is the perfect medicine.
Gail: I love this post and the reminder that sometime the best thing we can really do is just slow down. I thought the list was great. My favorite is #1. There is nothing better than stillness and it really is something we should dial up in ourselves as much as possible. Great post.
Hi Sibyl,
A number of people thought that cultivating stillness in our lives is one of the best steps to take to live joyfully. Once we stop and realize stillness, we become present and able to make sane, positive choices. I love that joy is always possible.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Hi Gail,
I am new to the site and I really enjoyed your post. The insightful steps remind me (joyfully) of two spiritual life teachers that have touched my life – Eckhart Tolle and Pema Chodron.
I often think about the negative effects our fast-paced society has on the individual – so many of us are rushed, irritable, anxious and never quite feel good enough to live up to the standards of what television and the media represent as the good life. It is refreshing to see so many people have found another way.
While I follow meditation practices and introspection as much as possible, two things I still struggle with are an inward, ego-driven competition with other people (I find myself becoming envious when I see other people are happier or “doing better” than me), and impatience with people whom I feel are non-compassionate or far from enlightened.
Either way, I’m going to keep working at acceptance of others, and of myself. Thanks for your educated insight and desire to make this world a better place for us all
A warm welcome to you, Beth. Thanks so much for visiting and for taking the time to comment.
I appreciate your forthrightness about the areas in your life that you still struggle with. Other people are so good at being our teachers! They show us exactly where we are still stuck, as you are experiencing. These are both habits of thinking and emotion. They can be unwound over time by giving them close and loving attention. I did a series a while back on habits. Here is one article that has the links to the others – maybe you will find them helpful. Click here.
I love hearing about your strong intention – with that you are well on your way to freedom.
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