I used to live in a world of “if only.” If only the right partner would show up or I wouldn’t get caught in traffic or my family life would improve. It was an endless life of arrogance – and frustration. If only things would be the way I want them to be. Like I had any control over any of it.
Yes, I was able to enjoy myself at times, but I was attached to all kinds of outcomes, large and small, and I suffered for it. Every time I wanted something to happen in a certain way, I set myself up for frustration, stress, and disappointment.
In those years, disappointment was my middle name. I was really tired of it, but I just couldn’t figure out how to be happy.
Fast forward to now, and I can’t help but smile. Because the unfolding of life is so beautiful in whatever form it takes, and the joy of openness to what is, as it is, is unspeakable. If I have a name at all, it is ease…peace…this…
As I see now, it was always this way, peace was always available, but the power of my attachments kept it hidden from view.
Do you react to life with a big No? Do you want it your way, not the way it actually is? Is Now not good enough? Then you are suffering.
Why wait one moment longer to find your way out of this mess?
When you understand the suffering that attachments bring, wisdom will erode them, clarity will show you that being totally open is sane, peaceful, and true. Frustration and disappointment about what occurs?
Are You Resisting Presence?
Every attachment contains within it a seed of resistance to what is. The present moment is seen as missing something or not as good as it could be. Attachments constrict what is acceptable, rather than opening to things as they are. Consider these:
- Hope is about being attached to a better moment at some other time in the future. Are you caught by thinking that something is wrong with now?
- An expectation desires a specific outcome, not necessarily the one you get. Can you let go of control (which you don’t have anyway) and lovingly receive what occurs?
- Attachment to a desire limits the infinite possibilities that could happen and sets you up for unpleasant reactions. Can you want something, and take action to get it, without being attached to the outcome?
If your happiness is conditional on things happening the way you want them to, then you will be disappointed. Because your personal desire has nothing to do with it. It is simply a speck in the vast unfolding of life.
From Personal Desire to Profound Acceptance of Life
When you discover happiness, you realize that it is unconditional, not dependent on anything. This means that whatever occurs is received as is. There is no desire except for what reality is offering you now.
And the happy byproduct? Negative emotional reactions simply don’t arise.
When you are free of attachments, here is what happens:
- You move from “something other than this” to “oh, this.”
- Effort to control is replaced by pure relaxation.
- Doing gives way to receiving.
- Thinking and story-telling dissolve into effortless being.
Oh, this…pure relaxation…receiving things as they are…effortless being.
Don’t give up your personal attachments. Yes, you read that right. Rather than efforting to give them up, investigate them. Tell the truth about what they are and how they affect you. Then let your natural intelligence guide you to the peace beyond peace.
Struggling with attachments? Is non-attachment your experience? I’d love to hear…