This is brilliant. I can relate to both qualities - ruthlessness for relentless honesty, compassion for kindness - in both cases, applied to the self. It took me awhile to get really ruthless with myself, I definitely lied to myself and lived in denial because I thought it was “safer.” But when I did finally get completely honest and willing, it was essential that I also learn to be gentle with myself. I was my own worst critic. Let me go with ruthlessness and I’d tear myself apart. Self-compassion, kindness, gentleness, self-forgiveness, these were skills I had to learn to balance out that rigorous self-examination. It is like flaying flesh sometimes, scraping the bottom of the garbage barrel, scratching fingers across a chalkboard. And yet, it is the only way to true inner freedom. I’m committed now. Thank you for another wonderful post.

Linda

Before I comment on the article, I used to joke to folks that I was “ruthless and dictatorial”. They sure would laugh. I would say it after they would call me funny or friendly or something like that.

Regarding the article, I’d have to say that hiding nothing sure does require ruthlessness. Very few people even get close to that. Letting go to achieve peace makes sense.

Good idea there about combining compassion with ruthlessness. Ruthlessness by itself is not so great for humanity. Add in compassion and, boom, there is a package that works. I try to show compassion.

Wisdom without love sure is no good. Love provides the fuel to use wisdom. Love is very important. It sounds like an obvious thing, but when love is missing from some relationship, everything starts to break down. It is something to keep an eye on.

Habits do have a way of lingering in ways that are sometimes just below our conscious awareness. You have described what happens very clearly - the habits come back, but not as strongly. Each time we see them for what they are, they weaken.

Ultimately, conditioning just can’t sustain in the face of the light of awareness. The light is who we are. When we are committed to letting it shine brightly, it eventually burns up everything, leaving nothing left. Then our minds are free to create, wonder, and experience each moment.

So wonderful to hear that letting go has become natural to you. Same for me most of the time, although I do get caught now and then - which is why the quality of ruthlessness can be helpful. I have found that conditioning can be very sneaky. Before I know it, a pattern has risen up and hooked me. So for me, it’s important to stay grounded in my true intention - which is to see everything as it is clearly.

In my experience, we can never have too many reminders!

Sounds like you have experienced profound benefits from letting go. I am so glad you mentioned relief. When we realize we don’t need to hold on to sad stories that make us suffer, it is a huge relief. We can actually be free of these weights. It’s an amazing realization to see that these aren’t just words or the experiences of the masters - the possibility to let go, to be free, is available and possible for each one of us.

You also mentioned a shift in consciousness, and this is what it takes. It is moving from focusing on the bitter, small, fearful beliefs back into ourselves where there is wholeness and expansion.

I so appreciate that you shared your experiences here.

Thanks for the post! I really like the tough love approach of combining ruthlessness and compassion. Both definitely seem essential.

I also liked what you wrote about letting things go. Around the time I turned 30 (I am 36 now), I began to realize that the more I let things go, the happier I became. While this doesn’t mean to stop making other people responsible, my guess is that I am much better off emotionally letting go of about 80% of the things that used to bother me.

Furthermore, like you mentioned in the post, I have noticed that unproductive habits do have a way of lingering. Sometimes I will think that I am totally over a certain issue, but it will eventually come back (though typically not as strong as it was in the past). Therefore, the path to freedom is a process. But you eventually do get to where you want to be.

When we let go of the anger, the fear, the jealousy, the resentment, the arrogance and the ego we begin to find freedom, joy and even relief. We start to discover who we are and what we can become. It’s liberating and enlightening. It represents a shift in our consciousness and is a sign of emotional growth and maturity. We may even begin to like ourselves. When we let go of being the incessant, insecure people pleaser and the human doormat, we begin to find our own voice and inner strength. And when we let go of the desperate, at times pathetic need to be loved, liked, wanted, noticed and valued, we instantly become more attractive, desirable and lovable.

Sometimes less is more and sometimes we just need to let go.